Do you ever just have those days? Like where everything that can go wrong, does go wrong? Well… let’s just throw some anxiety in there along with it. Now not only was the day awful, but you were also attacked… by your anxiety. This happened to me a few days ago and let me tell you… it was not fun.
I felt like I was too busy to even think about anything except for what I was trying to complete in that moment. At one point, I sat in my car for about 45 minutes attached to my phone just answering phone calls, texting, and emailing for work… all at the same time. I thought my head was going to explode.
I do not do well trying to multitask. I get easily distracted and forgetful. I have to make lists for myself, set reminders, and complete a task once I start it. Having control and organization is what helps me the most with my anxiety. If I don’t have these things I feel as if I am going to have a mental breakdown, and sometimes it isn’t for any valid reason! Knowing exactly what I have to do and what time everthing will happen helps. This makes planning hard considering that things usually do not go as smoothly as you want them to… or go nowhere near what you wanted them to.
I wasn’t supposed to have much going on that day, but as soon as I woke up everything was off. Work tasks went wrong (and I mean ALL of them). I had too many people trying to contact me at once. I wasn’t feeling well because the weather turns from summer to an arctic winter around here in a matter of hours. I know it may not sound like much, but when you plan on a relatively easy day and you don’t even have time to think about when the last time you ate something was… its a lot. I was overwhelmed. Once the day was over, I felt like I handled everything relatively well. I also felt like I accomplished a lot more that originally planned, so that was a bit of help. I took some time for myself and disconnected while I did a facemask and listened to some music.
Music is a huge stress and anxiety release for me. I focus on the music and lyrics instead of what is running around and bouncing off of the walls in my head. As I type this, I am actually listening. Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I have a playlist of a few songs that a beautiful friend of mine sent me one time when I was venting to her about how much my anxiety was getting to me. The songs are about being strong, knowing your worth, and giving inspiration for motivation.
Maybe in the future when I am planning my days, I should set a few hours aside for disaster to strike. Maybe that way I will feel more in control of what I’m doing. Who knows!? Definitely not me.
Going forward… I need to take my own advice and take one thing at a time. Baby steps. It is not worth it to try and do too much. Most of the time it is impossible, so take one thing at a time as it comes and slowly work toward completing your tasks to the best of your ability. That’s all you can do.